I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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