he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm just crazy horny about you
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Randomize
