he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
