just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
