We won't sleep together?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
