dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Church boner. Awkwardddd
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
