If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize