Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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