i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
