My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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