U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
