we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
