U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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