high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
