You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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