U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
