i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Can Purell be used as lube?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
