I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize