The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
