well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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