I got chris browned last night
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
