p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Randomize
