no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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