she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
