The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
