I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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