He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
