meet me or not, i'm out of control
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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