It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
