I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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