Will you blow on my dice?
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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