I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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