I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
