I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
These tits shall not be calmed
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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