You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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