Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
PANTIES FOUND
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize