i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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