Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
