I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
