she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
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