when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
