That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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