Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just come out here and I will go home with you...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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