we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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