Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
