OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
