My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
