did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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