i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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