just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
