The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
