Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize