I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
