I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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