What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
