Sponge bath it is.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Randomize
