btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
