she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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