you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she pinky promised me she was 18
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
